Neglecting your non-autistic kids??

Grace is not on the spectrum, how does SHE feel? She shares some of her thoughts on being a sister to someone with autism and about daddy-daughter dates and mommy-daughter dates!

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Did it occur to you that we're having a kind of a special alone time right now? What do you think about doing this? I like it because like we have like, we're talking together and we're doing a podcast. That was pretty cool.

So we had a little bit of a technical difficulty. There were a couple of things that went wrong. Unfortunately, the first thing that went wrong was that, well, that was the second thing. The first thing was that I thought I had uploaded the file before Thanksgiving. It didn't get uploaded. I started it and I thought it was going to finish and it looked like it finished, but it didn't actually finish in post.

This episode put up on no, up on 'em up on a podcast listing until won't tell you're listening to it right now. The other thing was the buzzing. So Gracie had my awesome, good microphone, but I had the lesser of the microphones. And well apparently when you have it hanging on top of another wire and that wire is getting some interference, then abuzz occurred.

So, we're sorry for that, but here's the episode with grace. So would you like to introduce yourself? My name is grace Paschal. How old are you? Eight years old. That puts you in like the fifth grade, huh? No second grade. And do you like school? Yes. I like science and recess. So science and recess. Are there any other things you like about school that all my friends and like, when we have like Sarah Neeson stuff, ceremonies, that's pretty cool.

So we actually, before, like last week before doing this podcast episode, you were talking about being nervous. Right. But you've been in front of people. Talk to me about a couple of times where you've been on the microphone and in front of all the parents and teachers and students. Y well, once I was doing the award ceremony, but I was handing out the papers and then.

I got nervous. And then I got so nervous that I threw up, so I couldn't do it and another time, but I was on stage, but not talking into microphone. I was three years old, maybe two. And I was a model on stage. That's right. I remember that you were dressed up in like little flower girl dresses. That was good.

Well, I remember one other time too, where you actually made the announcement for everyone. Like the beginning of, yeah. That was in kindergarten and it was I think the award ceremony. So that was really good. You practiced and you still were nervous, but you got through, I had that. I had the like I had the little, like, I had a little paper that said what I had to say, know that like, I hope you enjoy the awards or her money or something like that was pretty cool.

I was pretty impressed with. You've been good, but this isn't as big of a deal. Right? Although you were a little bit nervous, you were like the whole, world's going to hear us. And I was like, we're not, we don't have the whole world listening yet. So, so, you can say hi to grandma. She listens. So there's that?

So that's grace now, grace, you and Mikey have been brother and sister for quite a while. Now, how long have you been his big sister? Six months. Six months. Yeah, six months. Well, how old is Mikey? Six. Six. What? Six years old. Yep. So you've been a big sister as long as he's been alive. Huh? What do you think about being his big sister?

She's got a thoughtful look on her face right now, as she thinks about this question.

That kind of a tough question. Well, do you like being a big sister? Okay. What are some things you like about being a big sister? Watch my brother and sister. Well, I'm wow. Like someone getting changed or something. Okay. So like keeping an eye on them when we're getting ready to go out to dinner or getting ready to go somewhere.

Okay. That's pretty cool. That's a big, that's a big responsibility. Yeah. Like church. Sometimes we ask you to watch them for a little bit out front while you guys are riding bikes and stuff. Huh? That's cool. Is there anything you don't like about being a big sister? When they don't listen to me.

Yeah. Nobody really likes that. But I understand. So like what happens? So give me an example of a time when like Mike, he didn't listen to you like the time when I was telling him to get out of the street, when there was a car coming and there, and he didn't get out of there. Out of the road when there was a car coming me, he was, the car was like, still moving.

Mommy came running out and then. Told him to get out of the street. What happened to the car slowed down or did the car hit him or slowed down. Okay, good. So he was safe ultimately, but he didn't listen. Huh? No. So let's talk about Mikey for just a second. What kind of freaked me out? Like last night, I mean, this morning was when he was holding the melatonin.

Bottle. And I was asking, like, I was nervous. I feel like took the whole bottle and like, that would make him bad. Like, like he would be asleep for a long time, maybe so. Yeah. I'm not sure what would happen if he took a lot of melatonin, but that was pretty scary to me too. Thankfully, he didn't take any.

That was really good. So it's tough. It's tough being a big sister or being a mom or dad or being a little brother. A little sister too. Huh? We care about them. I do. I know you do too. So let's talk about Mikey for just one second. Do you know what autism is? No. No. Okay. And I didn't expect you to know and that's okay.

But so. Do you know, like some of the things that Mikey does that are a little bit different than like what you do or joy does, or some other people do often he does run off a lot. When was the last time you remember him running off?

When we were at the finger you last, and we couldn't find them, that was pretty scary. And that time at the park, when we couldn't find him. And then he was like at home, he came all the way home. Yes. And we were like asking everybody at the park. We even went around the lake, looking for him. And then he was, well, I found out here, I found him here at the house.

Yeah. You guys went around the lake and I came home and I think he just, you know, beat us here, but man he turned away for a minute sometimes and he's gone. Isn't he?

Good. You would be. Yeah, I know. Just kind of takes off like that. Are there any other things that he does? That's a little bit different. Big temper tantrum. He does have temper tantrums now. What's he doing now? When he has a temper tantrum?

Well, I mean, he is getting to listen a little bit, but one of the things he's doing is he's like he's slapping his own leg or something. Huh? Yeah. He looks pretty upset. Doesn't it? He slapped his leg and like stomps his feet. Right. The feet stomping was that? Yep. You're right. So those are like some of the things.

I think it his way, but did you know that autism also affects the way that he can learn and no. Yeah. It makes it so it's hard for him to do things like you're pretty good with handwriting. Right. And Mike, he's had a tough time learning how to hand write and to do things like that, but more practice makes it better.

So that's good. So we've got them at a special school, huh? A private school. Right? What do you think about at school?

Well, I kind of get jealous sometimes because like he has like a lot of cool things. Like he has like scooters there for recess and then like, I don't know why he has like a sweet. Like Lloyd a thing that you can sit in and you can lean back. And I don't know why he has like this room that has all this fun stuff he had even has a bounce house in trampoline.

That's pretty incredible. It is, and it looks like there's a lot of fun stuff in there. And sometimes I'm sorry, you get jealous, but it's like recess for you. You got your outside time and stuff like that. Well, I do know something I like about Mikey school. When I pet Mrs. Carrot carrots, the bunny.

Inside the cage right next to the big, cute trampoline. She's pretty cool. Huh? Yeah. She's black and white and she's really friendly and she likes to eat Hey,

turn into a horse. She could turn into a horse. Not really. Not really. So that's cool. But you know, there's some serious, there's some serious work that takes place out at school. Right? Did you know that now, even though they have a pool there's serious work. I know, no it's like, I don't often like see people like schools having like, like poles and stuff.

They get to do it every Friday. I know it's a reward, it's a reward. Well, so let me ask you something. You know, sometimes when Mike, he gets a little out of balance we make sure he goes outside and swings or jumps on the trampoline and things like that. Right. And then after about five or so minutes of that, and he seems to be a little bit more, well are tired a little bit, but after that also, it just makes him a little bit easier.

To like, he becomes a little bit more cooperative sometimes. Right. So I think that's why they have things like the trampoline and the bounce house and all this stuff that they have there too. So that's pretty cool. No need to be jealous of his school. He's got a lot of cool stuff, too. You do science.

He doesn't do science. No, there's no science there. They're focusing on like fine motor skills where he can like cut shapes out. He still learn. Of course he learns. You've seen some of the things he's been bringing home from school now. Right. Train. Yeah. Those things he wasn't really doing very well before.

Huh. So he's getting better at that. He's how do you think he's, do you think he's improving with his handwriting of his own name or do you think that's okay. I think it's getting better. Cause like when he was three, he was like drawing like school goals and I'm like line run. Like, I don't know. He wrote.

And then now when he was six he started doing.

Doing better handwriting. Yeah, that's good. So that's how a result of the work that he's been doing at school. So, and he's not on a trampoline or the swimming pool. He's working hard to do other things like that. Tracy and stuff. That's pretty cool. He could go always like, go and jump on the trampoline after school.


That's all right. So let's switch the topic just a little bit here as well. And let's talk about, let's talk about something that I know that you really have a lot of fun with, you know what, I'm going to talk about something that you get to do with mom and dad every once in a while. What is it?

That's right. Going on date. So why do you like going on dates with mom and dad? Like. Because like, like I can have more time with them and like, have like a long time with them and like not being annoyed by joy and Mikey. Okay. Do you think it's important to have this special alone time?

Yes, because like,


you can think about it. It's okay. You think it's important to have the alone time, because 'cause like,

I never, I go on dates. Like there, they feel special to me. And there's another thing. That's not date dates. Tinker crate. Oh.

That's right. Can you tell everybody that's listening, what tinker crate is? Tinker crate is a science experiment that you idea, like add stuff in and it comes with what it looks like. So. I mean it tell you what I have already. We'll hold on, let me do it. Let me see if I can describe it a little bit better.

It's a monthly subscription that comes in a box and it's all focused on science, technology, engineering and math, so stem so mostly science stuff. So go ahead. What are a few of the things we've already done? We had done like slime and like this drawing, drawing robot thing. Nope. That Kim's with a big, huge paper and you put three markers in it and then it draws all over the paper.

It's awesome. And that, and there's three more that we haven't done. No, I know we got backed up just a little bit. So we're going to have a lot of fun come the next month. Yeah, we are. We also did one where you were messing around with fiber optics to make like the stars. Right? That was pretty. That was pretty cool.

Yeah. It was like, it was I don't know what to call it. It was pretty cool. That was kind of more advanced because we had to do a lot of small work. So flashy. Yeah. All right. Good. All right, cool. So dates and tinker crate.

When you do that, it's it picks up on the it's. Okay. It's tough. Do you need to blow your nose? Okay, go ahead. Go pull up real quick.

So let's talk a little bit about what you like to do on the dates. What are some things that we've done that have been really cool? Well, one time we me and joy and dad went to this dance party and joy kept on like, Giving her ears hurt. It was loud for her. Huh? I remember that. That was the father daughter dance at the YMC.

And then there's a father, daughter, date dance at. At celebration church and it was in the service room. That's right. That was pretty fun too. Huh? Again, loud music and enjoyed it and come with us on that one. But yeah, but we had a, at a really good time. So that's one thing we do. What do we, what's something that we do sometimes just kind of.

Last minute or out of the blue, if I'm just like, Hey, I'm going to go grab grace. And what are some things that just you and me do? Oh, stuff like that. Like home Depot, you go to the. Software stores like best buy.

Where do we go? The most Lowe's and home Depot depo. That's right. And with that though, you've learned some things about tools and I've gotten your help with putting some stuff together. What's your favorite tool to say? Reciprocating sauce. That's right. It's a kind of a weird name. Yeah. But it's a cool tool.

We'd like it saw as well. So that's cool. Where do we like to go to. BJ's and I define yep. We do mighty find a good bit and BJ's a good bit too. So that's all only like every Sunday we go to Rudy's and get tacos. Yep. I try to get up early in the morning and grabbed some tacos and bring them home for Sunday before we go to church.

Huh? So. Those are cool things. Do you like doing that sort of stuff? Yes. Okay. That's awesome. What about with mom? What are some places that you guys go to that are usually just you and mommy places? Well, to get something to drink like at I can't think of any dates or small.

You can't think of any dates with mom. We're going to have to fix that, huh? Yep. We'll have to fix that. Let's ask or let me ask you this here. What what, well, no, you guys go to. Oh, yeah, we did. We went to the Thinkery was joy. Yeah. I was going to say that's mostly like a girls thing sometimes. And then we went with meadow, Lilly Camille and Camille's brother named Jordan.

Yeah. That's right. And I was like, I couldn't remember that often because it's my brother's name. Yeah. The name Jordan is the easy one to remember. Huh? Wow. So you guys do some of those things sometimes too. I mean, you've had dinner with mom. It has been awhile, so we need to get you to out on a date night.

That'd be fun. So well, me and mommy are planning on going. To California soon. Just me and her. Yes.

I don't even know. You don't even know. You don't know when you guys have started talking about that. Oh, we have been starting talking about that when he first. The podcast. Oh, okay. All right. So that's because I asked you this question, I asked you what would be an awesome. If you could do anything as a date with mom, what would it be?

And you said that you wanted to go to California, huh? That'd be pretty cool. I don't know if I could live without you girls for that very long. You'd have to be gone for like a week to make it fun for you. Four days, four days, that's close to a week sort of. That would be awesome. Well then what would be an awesome, that's more like a vacation than a day.

That's baller, vacation that a day. It's just me and her and then it's a vacation. That'd be awesome. So what would an awesome like dream date be with me going. A private jet and going to, I'm going to Tennessee and doing what and visiting our friends and. Go out to eat and rent a hotel. Yeah.

Just hang out. That'd be cool. Again, it sounds like a vacation, but that's less of a date and more of a vacation. Huh? It's okay. It sounds like you need a vacation. I need a vacation. We just had a vacation. We just had Thanksgiving break. I know, but we didn't go anywhere in September. I know fun. And Christmas we might go to how was it called?

Yes. Serbian Christmas and California. Yeah. Maybe we'll see. We'll see. So those are, so you hope, so those are some cool, like dream dates. Where's is there any place local, like, so when we do our dates, sometimes it's just like, we'll be able to go out and have a dinner together or a dessert or something like that.

Is there any place that you'd like to go and try to. Yes, BJ's all. We gotta be days. I got a bit. So I was asking if there's any place new that you'd like to try. Know, let me actually ask a different question. All right, go ahead. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's pretty fun. Why would you like to go there? 'cause they have fun tricks and they make a volcano out of onions. That's right. That is pretty cool. Huh? That is pretty cool. So, so it was about the entertainment and when you got it, And I think I know why you like things like mighty fine.

And why you like these as workers, you do like burgers, what is it that you like the most? BJ's there you go. We don't have it a lot, but I remember the first time I think it was on your sixth birthday. I took you there just for our little date night. Nope. Not from BJ's. We got. Got a milkshake on my birthday.

We had it there. I was mistaken. Then I got a milkshake and then every one else got up put, okay. And then I kind of gave some to you and then you gave me some physics and I got like this red shirt that. I said something on it. I old gym class. Oh yeah. That's right. I remember that. I remember that. So that's cool.

So all in all D how important do you think dates are really important, more important than. It's not a trick question. That's okay. You can. She looked at me like she was scared to answer the question. Here's what I think. I think they're both very important, but I think that for our relationship, it's important to have special alone time and things like that.

Did you know. Or did it occur to you that we're having a kind of a special alone time right now? What do you think about DNS? I like it because like we have like, We're talking together and we're doing a podcast. That was pretty cool. Huh. Now I'll give everybody a behind the scenes. We when we first did the recording, we were in my office and we were sitting down now.

Yeah. Now we're on the bed or hanging out a little bit more. I think it's a little bit more comfortable with. Yes, it's more comfortable, but my arms are like hurting and the microphone. Huh? That's all right. Well, we're about done. Is there is there anything that you would like to say to the other parents out there that have kids?


Mike. He's always asking for like supplements every morning, supplement supplements right now. He is doing that. So I understand what you're saying. So take care of the kids. Ultimately that's the big picture take care of the kids. And the only thing I could think of that's really good. All right.

Well, I think we're done. What'd you think? I like cool. Should we do this again sometime? Yes. Awesome. You are a wonderful guest. Thank you, grace. Hi. So that was really fun. It was good to spend some time with grace. It was great actually that we got to record it a second time here as well, because of the location.

We got to sit down on the bed and hang out face to face. That was a little bit more comfortable as well. But yeah, just to kind of recap and share my thoughts on this here as well. It's always a special time to, to take the kids out on their own one-on-one and give them some alone time and focus in.

You know, it's about doing something that they want to do. It's about doing something that brings us a little bit close together. It's about getting us out into an environment where it's just the two of us and we can talk. So, you know, I can see taking Mikey out climbing or, you know, going to a park with them or taking them of course, to, to grab a lunch or a dinner.

You know, those things, give me an opportunity to spend some focused alone time with him. And as joy starts to grow older as well, we'll be able to do some of the same things here too. So what's easy is the desire to do this, but what's hard is the consistency. And, you know, I travel for work and we have a lot of stuff going on at the house and you know, we're not overly scheduled, but you know, we have plenty of that keeps our time.

It's been important for us to kind of put on the schedule every other week, an opportunity for us as us, each, Heather, or I to do something with grace and with Mikey alone. So, you know, it doesn't have to be every other week it's me and then the other, every other week, it's her, so that she's doing something every week, but at least every other week we get, you know, a special date time with mom or dad.

So that's pretty good. So I encourage you all to do, you know, something similar. It's really important. I don't know if grace had the vocabulary to really put it into words here, but you know, the feeling that she got. I can tell is incredible. You know, it brings our relationship a little bit closer together.

It gets us connected again, and it's important. Just like it's important for me to date Heather and for her to date me regularly. It keeps our relationships tight and it keeps us connected. So I recommend this to anybody. Date night with your kid is awesome. It's fine. It gets you out of the adult zone for a little while, and it gets you down on their level.

Then you get to learn a bit about them. Bright. Beautiful. Awesome kids. At least I know mine are, but I'm pretty sure yours are too, but anyway, that's today's episode. I thank you so very much. Please connect with us on Facebook. Follow us on Instagram. Both can be found at finding Mikey podcast. We'd love to connect with you there as well.

So please reach out and we'll talk soon. Take care.

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